truth.

we all want something beautiful.

Every single person on this earth wants to be loved. Every single person longs for love everyday or is overcome in joy in finding it. Maybe that's why it makes us so crazy; it's overwhelming to find and have that one thing you've spent all this time looking for, what do you do now that you have it? We spend time second guessing, over thinking, and just placing noise in this pure emotion. Why not just embrace this powerful and beautiful force?

Then again, it's knowing that something is so absolutely powerful that scares us. Though we spend so much time thinking, hoping, dreaming, praying for love, we are afraid to love. We all want it, but we're so afraid to give it away. Maybe we should stop worrying about every detail that goes with love and just appreciate it. Appreciate the fact that it can turn your world upside down and never let fear stop you from falling. Let yourself go and don't hold back.

What truly nutso thing have you done for love?

krazy krackers.

So I'm obsessed with crackers and love making them, but I haven't really been able to make a good vegetable based one. Yesterday I had pulp that I wanted to do something different with and the Renegade Health Show had Abeba on their show making one of her "Krazy Krackers," which ended up being perfect for my pulp. If you don't watch the Renegade Health Show then you should because it is awesome and they give you great, unbiased health information. So here is the recipe that I used from Abeba, The Krazy Kracker Lady, as a basis for my recipe, though I added and substituted based on what I had in the refrigerator. They turned out DELICIOUS!

Abebas Crunchy BBQ Chips

1 1/2 cup water
2 carrots
2 tomatoes
1-2 dates (soaked for 30 mins)
3/4 tsp chili powder
1 celery stalk
1/2 cup sundried tomatoes (soaked 30 mins)
dash of cayenne pepper
nama shoyu sauce or celtic salt to taste
2/3 cup flax seeds (soaked over night)
1/4 to 1/2 beet (optional)

I also dipped onions in this and made onion rings as she says to do which were AMAZING. These chips turned out so delicious I made another huge batch today that I just popped in the dehydator. The recipe I used for these was:

1/4 bunch cilantro

1/2 lemon

cumin

sea salt

1 carrot

2 stalks celery

1/4 cup sundried tomatoes

5 dried cherries

1/2 cup soaked flax seeds

This smelled and tasted so good as a mixture, so I'm sure they will be delicious! My mom actually poured some in a bowl for soup before I added the flax she loved it so much. So you can make crackers and a soup at the same time if you really want!

Everyone should look up Abeba, the Krazy Kracker Lady online and watch her videos and possibly buy her books if you're looking for healthy cracker and chip alternatives. I am about to order at least her first two books and i'm so excited!

today was a fairytale

My first car was a 96 Land Cruiser, "The LC," and basically the love of my life. This car has been through it, between whoever the previous owner was, my mom, my brother, and then finally me. Of course, she still looked lovely through it all until a summer at the beach with the brother. I would say that's when she started looking just a tad bit worn. Not that she hadn't had some troubles before then; with rain pouring in through an open sunroof, a series of bumps and scrapes on the bumpers, thank you Sean Butler, and just time.

When I received the car I got a new radio, speakers, and a sub because if you know the lc, she has a bit of gangsta in her. There was nothing better than driving down the road blaring some rap and having the sickest bass in town. It certainly brought attention to her, which she surely liked. Before the bass she had this issue with the horn, which was probably known all around town. You would be driving down the road and the lc would just start honking wildly. There were definitely weird looks and some creepy ones too from people who thought you were honking cause you thought they were cute, ha. To end this hilarious segment of the lc's life, the horn had to be cut, so now she only makes a very odd scratchy beeping noise when you use the horn.

Some of my best memories involve the lc and road trips, but unfortunately she couldn't come to school with me and when it came time to need a car being so far away from home, my parents felt I needed something more reliable. In my opinion, nothing is more reliable than the lc who has driven me all over the place since I was around 8 or 9 years old.

Well, we bought an x terra, the sex and I began driving her to school, but something is certainly missing. I always look forward to coming home and jumping in the lc, which is what I have done all summer. There is also the plus that the lc has a radio unlike the sex, though the speakers were never quite put in right. Something has happened with the radio in the sex and it has yet to be solved. Needless to say, my love remains with the LC and every time that I drive a different car I just feel like I'm cheating.

I haven't been able to drive the lc for a week because she's had a trailer on the back to pick up belongings in chapel hill, so sad. So, I have gone back to the sex, and though I hate to talk smack about her, it's just not the same. The one thing about driving the x terra is not having a radio. As I have been driving around it has been so weird without a radio, but also kind of a nice break. I find myself singing random songs loudly to no music, taking quiet time for myself, or just thinking about anything and everything.

I've always thought we needed times where we just had to be quiet, with no distractions, to just be alone with ourselves. It is a great place to be when you can just be with yourself, for even a short period of time and not feel alone; to feel safe and comfortable, content, in our own bodies. It really tests you and makes you see or feel what you are missing or what you feel like you are missing. It makes you face the fears or judgements you have for yourself and face them head on.

Cilantro Smoothie

1/2 head cilantro

1 peach

liquid light

water

1 1/2 tsp bee pollen

2 tbsps goji berries

1 tbsp flax seeds

miss trina, dime diva.

After much dog drama and having precious biggie smalls ripped from my tiny, loving hands, I now have Trina. Trina is a beautiful little girl and has the most perfect face ever. I'm in love with this puppy and she licks and bites my face, toes, fingers, ears, or whatever else she can because she adores me how i adore her. Today my father let her fall off the bed, I cried. If something happened to this precious baby I would be just so sad. She has already grown so much and I've barely had her 3 days. This love bug is curled up with me right now, though not in the crook of my neck like she usually is because I'm trying to study.

kale chips

This is the kale chips marinating in:

nutritional yeast

2 tbsps raw tahini

2 tsps olive oil

sea salt

cumin

italian or other seasonings

raw apple cider vinegar

1 carrot

1 stalk celery

3 garlic cloves

water to consistency

puree all ingredients into a dressing and massage onto pieces kale.

kale chips in the dehydrator at 105 until crispy!

egg, plant.

http://www.rawsimple.com

Raw Eggplant Bacon

• 1 large eggplant, thinly sliced
• 1 tablespoon sea salt
• 1/2 dried chipotle chile, soaked at least 2 hours
• 1/2 cup soaking water from the chipotle peppers
• 2 tablespoons maple syrup
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons nama shoyu
• 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• pinch black pepper
• pinch cayenne

let the strips of eggplant soak and then dehydrate until crispy! I used this recipe, but used different amounts just kind of threw it together depending on how much eggplant I was using.

Raw Baba Ghanoush

• eggplant (remove skin, freeze, and thaw to make it softer and less bitter)
• 2 tbsps raw tahini
• 2 large cloves garlic, or more!
• 1 tsp cumin
• salt to taste
• juice from 1 lemon
• fresh parsley, or dry
• 1 1/2 tbsps olive oil
• water for consistency
• pepper to taste
• smoked paprika for more traditional taste

Blend all ingredients together in a food processor and it's ready!

biggie smalls.

my body amazes me.

We all have issues with our body, whether it's our arms, thighs, love handles, or whatever else we find with our critical eye to not be absolutely perfect. We work so hard to fix all of these issues that we have with ourselves, but why aren't we happy with the way we are right now. To me, our bodies are so perfect and miraculous. They do all of these amazing things throughout the day, whether we are sitting, running, sleeping, or eating, our bodies are functioning in such amazing ways. I have issues with myself just like everyone else, but I learn to love myself for the way I am right now more and more everyday.

Look at yourself, your imperfections, your brilliant beauty, and send love to every piece of yourself. Stop looking with a critical eye and look in awe at the amazement that is before you.

mmmmm.

DELICIOUS dinner

grilled eggplant

pretty self explanatory..cut the eggplant however you like and grill it with some garlic or whatever other seasonings you want!

crunchy green beans

sweet yellow pepper chopped

a little onion chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

fresh field peas

cayenne pepper chopped

put a pan on low and just let these get a little warm and then throw the green beans on just so they can get warm and let the flavors soak, then add

just a tad nama shoyu

a tad honey

pinch himalayan sea salt

stir and remove from the pan, so that nothing gets too soft, the stove was just to get them warm and let the flavors mix. I then drizzled just a tad of sesame oil. THIS IS SOOO DELICIOUS

Salsa

cilantro

red/orange cherry tomatoes

lime

cracked pepper

food for thought.

For some reason I am feeling stressed out today, or more just unsettled. I don't really know what it is, but I guess we all have those days or moments where we feel a little disconnected. It is probably because I did not do yoga this morning and then was stressed out about a test. Anyways, doing something for someone else always makes me feel a little bit better and gives me something to use this busy energy on. I also try just spending time in the sun, working out or doing art, but the creative juices weren't flowing onto the paper today, so I turned them to the kitchen.

I love making my family healthy dinners, so I used all local produce that we had picked up from the farmers market. My dad like very hearty food, so I wanted to use the okra we had bought and make a heavy and hearty meat like dish.

"Hearty Okra"

I brought water almost to a boil, turned the water off, and basically blanched the okra quickly, just to warm them and soften them slightly.

Next I melted ghee in a pan with fresh chopped garlic

The pan is on as low as possible to keep most of the nutrients.

I then added the okra with:

nutritional yeast (lots!)

tbsp curry

a little sea salt

chopped up cayenne pepper from the garden

I wanted to make a very refreshing salad/garnish to go with this since it's so hot and this is absolutely perfect.

"Refreshing Corn Salad"

fresh chopped parsley

fresh corn off the cob (this is super sweet raw and so delicious)

tiny onions chopped

lime squeezed on top

a little pepper cracked on the top to finish it off

A little info on:

Ghee

It is used in indian food, and is actually "clarified" butter. I am a vegan and not really for dairy, but this is a great oil for cooking and has a wonderful flavor. It is actually lactose free and contains no hydrogenated oils or trans fats. It helps start the secretion of stomach acids to improve digestion and it is rich with antioxidants and acts as an aid in the absorption of vitamins and minerals from other foods, feeding all layers of body tissue and strengthening the immune system. It also keeps its chemical composition at high temperatures unlike other oils or butters and has anti viral properties that is said to reduce the risk of cancer.

Nutritional Yeast

It is loaded with B vitamins, including B12, folic acid, essential fatty acids, and 52% protein with important amino acids. This is great for vegans and vegetarians because it gives you a lot of the vitamins, specifically B12 that you may be missing, plus it tastes cheesy and yummy!

lightning scar

"We can choose to see our experiences as a help or a hindrance. Instead of wearing your battlescars wide open for all to see, and to emotionally bleed from, try wearing them as badges of honour. They are there to show you how strong, capable and resilient you are."

this is just funny...

http://www.naturalnews.com/029098_orthorexia_mental_disorder.html

apparently i have an eating disorder/ am mentally unstable.